Microsoft announces Clippy for Linux ™

Microsoft Corporation has announced their plans to release the famous Clippy personal assistant for Linux.

“Ever since being introduced in Microsoft Office 97, Linux users have been clamoring for Clippit — known to his friends as Clippy — to make his way to Linux,” stated Microsoft CEO Satya Nadela.  “We are thrilled to finally make all Linux users’ dreams come true.”

The new, Linux version of Clippy has been enhanced with highly requested features such as integration with the terminal and popular shell environments.

During the demonstration of a pre-release version, a Microsoft representative typed “nano” into a terminal, resulting in Clippy appearing on-screen — “It looks like you’re writing a Bash script.  Would you like help?” — followed by a series of help topics.

The first version of Clippy for Linux will ship with the next release of Ubuntu Linux, slated for October of 2021, with general availability for other Linux distributions to follow.

“We couldn’t be more excited to work with Microsoft to bring the beloved Clippy to Linux users around the globe,” stated Mark Shuttleworth, CEO of Canonical, maker of Ubuntu Linux.  “We’ll make Clippy a default option on all new Ubuntu installs as well as upgrades.  Based on past experience, we’re sure Ubuntu users will love that.”

“We’ve done it, Linux has won,” stated Linux creator, Linus Torvalds.  “I’ve always said, we’ll know when we’ve beaten Microsoft when they bring Clippy to Linux.”

Upon hearing about the news, Free Software Foundation founder, Richard Stallman, is reported to have said, “What you’re referring to as Clippy is, in fact, GNU / Clippy.  Or as I’ve taken to calling it, GNU + Clippy…”

Bryan Lunduke

Former Deputy Editor for Linux Journal magazine. Former Technology Journalist for Network World. Former VP of Technology. Former Linux Marketing Director. Former Dishwasher.