Linux Poetry – Linux Mint

I present to you a random Haiku about Linux Mint.  Because… why not?


Oh, and here’s a nice, big version that you can use as a Desktop Background (click to get the big .png).  I’ve left “copyright blah blah” text and signatures off it… because those things can really ruin good background images, amirite?


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Linux-Desktop-Poem-a-Week: Awesome

Below is a limerick about the Awesome Window Manager.

Because I like limericks.  And I also like Awesome.


I’m writing these poems for every Linux Desktop Environment (along with an article on each over at Network World).

Because I can.  And no man can stop me.

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Linux-Desktop-a-Week: The Poems

I’ve decided that I am going to try living, full time, in each and every Linux Desktop Environment.  I pick one, live in it for a week, then move on to the next one.

Why?  I dunno.  Because it sounded like fun.  (And I’m chronicling the results, each week, over at Network World.)

But then I realized that I was missing a golden opportunity: To write a poem for each and every Desktop Environment currently available for Linux.  Because I like doing that sort of thing.  (No judging.  This is the Internet : A judgment free zone.)

The first Desktop Environment I did on my “Desktop-a-Week” adventure was Enlightenment.  Here is Enlightenment‘s poem.  It’s a limerick.  You like it very much.


Now to get caught up with poems for Awesome and MATE.  After that I’ll just post one poem a week… whether you want me to or not.

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“Linux Sucks” – 1 Million Times.

Every year, at the end of April at LinuxFest Northewest, I give a ridiculous little presentation that I call “Linux Sucks”.  [I then toss the recordings up on YouTube and hide under my blanket from the angry mob.]

Linux Sucks(1)Well, something crazy just happened.

The “Linux Sucks” videos have, combined, now been watched a total of over 1 Million times.

A million.  A freaking million.

To celebrate this big, round number… I have finally gotten off my lazy butt and placed the slides decks up on GitHub.  They’re under the Creative Commons, so feel free to do pretty much whatever you like with them.

If you’re new to “Linux Sucks”, start with the 2014 video.

Here’s the complete collection, for those of you determined to watch ~8 hours of me with radically changing hair styles:

Linux Sucks 2009

Linux Sucks 2010

Linux Sucks 2011

Linux Sucks 2012 / Doesn’t Suck 2012

Linux Sucks 2013 / Doesn’t Suck 2013

Linux Sucks 2014 (and with Spanish subtitles)

[Seriously though.  The early ones were pretty rough.  Start with 2014.]

This seems like a pretty good moment to reminisce on some of my favorite moments of “Linux Sucks” from the last half decade.  Because, you know, a million.

  • The very first one of these I did, back in 2009… the vga out on my laptop (Linux powered, naturally) didn’t work.  I didn’t realize this until I plugged it in to the projector.  Woops!  Rather amusing start to a presentation on ways Linux sucks.  Luckily a dude was there to help get it working while I talked to folks (a dude that later went on to be a good bud and semi-sorta-co-worker).
  • In 2012 I added the “Linux Does Not Suck” portion of the presentation.  Using the almost exact same slides as the “Sucks” portion.  This amused me a great deal.  So I still do it.
  • A little ways into the 2012 video we had to make some of the audience leave.  We were over fire capacity and didn’t want to risk the wrath of the fire marshal.
  • The 2009 through 2012 videos are all up on the Jupiter Broadcasting YouTube channel.  The 2012 video being the most viewed… anything… that Jupiter Broadcasting has ever distributed.   By a crazily huge margin.  Despite the fact that it was filmed with a hand-held shaky cam.
  • It took until 2014 to film this thing with half-way decent audio and video.  Why?  I have no clue.  Probably because I’m lazy or something.
  • Sometimes I have shaggy hair and a mustache (and look like I should be in a 1970’s adult film).  Sometimes I have no facial hair and a shaved head.  Sometimes (not often) I look like a normal person.
  • I really enjoy doing these (especially the last few years).  There seems to be a good mix of regulars that come every year (a few since the very beginning) and new folks that have no clue what it’s really about.  And that’s just plain awesome.

You better believe there will be a 2015 edition.

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Tell the world how much you think Linux sucks.

This coming Saturday, April 26th, I will be presenting the 2014 edition of my annual “Linux Sucks” (and “Linux Does Not Suck”)… thing that I do.

As part of the event, I have asked some of my friends to record short video clips declaring “Linux Sucks” — which I could then edit all together as a sort of “Everyone thinks Linux sucks” (tongue in cheek) montage.  Don’t we all want to see leaders of some of our favorite distro’s declaring how much Linux blows?  Of course we do.

But, wouldn’t it be even more fun to open it up to everyone (not just Linux “big wigs”)?  Agreed.  Much more fun.

So, if you’d like to get in on the action, here’s the details:

Record two short (just a few seconds long) video clips (using your webcam or phone is fine):

One clip where you declare that “Linux Sucks”.  (You can say any other disparaging things about Linux that you like — “I am so mad at Linus Tovalds right now”, “Linux… is just terrible”, etc. — so long as you start by saying “Linux Sucks” in whatever tone feels right for you.)

Then a second (optional) clip where you declare your love for Linux.  You can say something simple like “Linux doesn’t suck”.  Or you can say whatever else feels right for you.

Then send those video clips to by the afternoon of this Thursday (April 24th).  Download link or as an email attachment is fine.

That’s it.  Takes like 7 seconds and ensures your Linux-based immortality.  Also it’ll be awesome.

Let’s see… what else makes sense to tell you…

- By sending me the video clip you agree to let me do whatever I want with it.  I’m just going to edit them together (and probably trim them up a bit)… but I feel like I should say that to cover my butt.

- Seriously.  Thursday afternoon.  That’s the deadline.  If you send it to me after that you’ll be plum out of luck.  I am going to be editing this together Thursday night.  So no dilly dallying.

- These videos are, for the first time, being recorded properly.  Tripod.  Lapel mic.  Like a big boy.

- The youtube versions tend to get viewed a few hundred thousand times… Looks like the 2012 version is just shy of half a million views.  This 2014 one I expect to break that line.  With gusto.

- Oh, if you work on any specific Open Source or Linux project, be sure to say what your title is in the email you send me.  I’m going to label folks with little subtitles.

That’s about it.  Now go.  Right now.  Record those two quick video clips and send them my way.

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