Dirty Linux Limerick Time!

Second night in Amsterdam.  Family asleep.  10:30pm.  Time to write some limericks.

About Linux.

Fair warning: These are probably going to be dirty.

I know what you’re thinking.  “But, Bryan!  How could you say such foul things!  You wrote a children’s book about Linux!”

Which is true.  But I also wrote what is, without a doubt, the most profane book about Linux ever spewed forth onto the page.  You can’t cage this bird, man.  I gotsta be free.

There once was a distro called Arch
With updates always on the march
I packman -Syu’d
And went out to get food
When I came back it was on a death march

Wait.  Wasn’t dirty at all.  Perhaps that last line should read:

When I came back my whole system was really fucked up and LibreOffice wouldn’t fucking launch

But that doesn’t rhyme as well.  Oh well.  On to the next!

In ye olden days was Gentoo
But too much code, I did accrue!
So I got on my feet
And went out to the street
Yelled “Fuck it!  On to Ubuntu!”

No hard feelings on that one, Gentoo.  Here, let me do one about Ubuntu to make you feel better.

There once was good old Ubuntu
Who looked all orange and poo
I disliked it so much
And told them as such
They made it purple.  Which also blew.

Truth be told, I liked the color change.  But “When they changed it to purple I got a big boner” doesn’t work as well.  Also “orange and brown” just isn’t as awesome to say as “orange and poo”.Let’s see.  Who’s next.  Oh, yeah!  Fedora!

Oh, Fedora!  Why do you suck?
You keep saying that you don’t suck.
But for reals.  You suck.
Big donkey balls suck.
I mean damn.  Come on.  Holy fuck.

Wow.  That was mean.  Hell.  I even like the last few releases of Fedora.  Just don’t tell them that.  I’ve got an image to protect!And now I’m sleepy.  G’night!  [Now go buy my books so I can write some more of these limericks and pretend like it’s my job.]

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  • Mike Mombarg

    The stuff you come up with while being in amsterdam haha!

  • kalinax

    Yea i see that you liked those coffee shops. Bring back some for your goats.